What's holding you back?

Do you feel like you're being held back?

You have aspirations and ideas for what you want to be and where you want to go but you feel like there's no way you'll ever get there - does it sound familiar? 

You know deep down you should be out there living life, but there are bills to pay, kids to take care of, bosses to please, a house to be kept and there just isn't the time for anything else.

It's true life is a bit of a treadmill, and we have responsibilities as adults to do certain things, but have you ever asked yourself what's really holding you back? Does daily life really mean that you can't have the job you want, travel to the places you want, achieve some of the dreams you had for yourself?

The short answer is no, of course it doesn't and there are some things you can do to help yourself. If YOU are guilty of holding yourself back and allowing negative thoughts to stop you from getting to where you want to be, then you need a plan to help you move forward.

Stop thinking it's too late!

While you are alive and kicking it is never too late. Whatever your age, it really is just a number. There is no age limit to anything in life - people jump out of planes in their 90's, take up piano in their 60's, write first book's in their 40's - you can do what you put your mind to so whatever it is you fancy doing, don't let the feeling that it's too late be the thing that's holding you back!

Stop waiting for the 'Right time'.

Let's put this one to bed straight away - there is never a right time for anything so if you're waiting for the stars to align or your horoscope to tell you to go for it you'll probably be waiting a long time! The truth is by saying you're waiting for the right time what you're really doing is procrastinating. It's just another excuse not to get on and do something - the right time is NOW.

Stop comparing yourself to others.

A dangerous game to play although most of us are guilty of doing it sometimes, there is very little point in comparing yourself to anyone else. You are you and that is your STRENGTH. You don't have the same personality, skillset or desires as anyone else so use your individual traits to get you where you need to be without looking at those that might have gone before you - yes, you might see their success but you won't see their failures, their struggles, the hours of work they've put into something - all you're seeing is their success now, not the background to it. So instead of comparing what they have that you don't, look at it like this, what do you not have right now that you want to have in X amount of months - why not emulate the successes of those you compare yourself to and use it as a driver and inspiration to get to your place of success?

Stop listening to the 'Haters'.

Yes, we all know them. We've probably all got some close by. So what? Who actually cares what the haters think? If you're not entirely sure what or who these people are let me explain. They'll be the ones telling you your idea is impossible, silly, unrealistic. They'll be making comments on everything you do or say or putting you down. They'll tell you it's not for you, not the right time, never going to work. Chances are they'll have plenty to say but little of it will be supportive. These are NOT the people to surround yourself with. There are the people that sap the life out of you and make you second guess yourself, willing you to fail so they can scream 'I told you so' and vindicate their own behaviour.(These are also the type of people who lack confidence and drive in their own lives and are projecting their feelings of inadequacy onto you). Don't allow them the power to do that to you. Surround yourself with a trusted inner-circle (literally no more than a handful) of people who will support you, give constructive criticism, ask useful questions and be a sounding-board. Trust your gut instinct on this one, you usually already know who those people are.

Stop making it about results.

You're working towards your goal, you feel you're getting nowhere, you've seen no huge success yet. You're failing. But are you? Think about where you were yesterday, and now where you're at today. What small changes have you made happen? Have you written your business plan, the first chapter of your book, looked at adult education courses, booked yourself into a workshop or being to the gym for the first time? If so, there's your success because it means you're further on today than you were yesterday. Small successes are what build to big ones and are what will eventually give you the results you're looking for. It's all about perspective. Rome wasn't built in a day and being successful at anything takes hard work, determination, perseverance, drive and tenacity. Keep going, you'll reach the top of the hill at some point!

If you can finally see a way forward, here are some small things you can do right now to get you started.

Push yourself out of your comfort zone!

Visit somewhere new (a museum or a park is fine, it doesn't have to be anywhere fancy), go to a different café to the one you usually use, or try cooking a meal that you wouldn't ordinarily eat so if you always go for Italian, try Mexican. It can be liberating to try something new even when it's small and exposing yourself to different cultures, people and places might open doors and opportunities that you didn't think possible. Exposing your mind to different things broadens your horizons.

Write your plan out (and then take action!)

Write down a 5 step plan of how you will achieve your goal. Make them small, realistic, achievable steps (there's little point saying your goal is to earn a million by the end of the month unless you predict you're about to win the lottery - that's just setting yourself up to fail). If you're a visual learner then make a vision board and stick it to your fridge. Now start working on that plan. Taking action is the only way to make things happen.

Be flexible.

You've written your goals but find that somewhere along the line you need to make a change? Then change it! There is no way of knowing if a plan will succeed or not unless you put it into action and it's only by putting it into action that you'll see any weaknesses or things that need tweaking - so go ahead and tweak them. Life isn't set in stone and neither are your plans.

So, what are you waiting for? Apply for the job. Start the new fitness programme. Start the business. Do the degree. Take up the hobby. Write the book. GO FOR IT!

And if it's all still too scary to try it alone then why not work with me either on a 1-2-1 basis, by joining my membership or attending one of my events? Let me know how you get on!